deadlines are approaching. exams are just round the corner. yes, as u'd have guessed, i'm gonna say i hate sch again.. what's new. i just feel so sick n tired of all these! GAH!
i wanna learn how to play the guitar (esp electric guitar). I really really want to.. who got any cheap lobangs? who got frens who r willing to teach ppl for low fees? i hate being the little girl who isn't capable of anything. i'm currently in a not-so-pink-and-cute-mood. yea. as some ppl might have noticed, i've been using minimal makeup for the past weeks. coz i suddenly into the androgynous style again. just that my hair is too long - maybe i shld hide em in a cap or something. no, actually i dun really wanna be boy-ish. i wanna dress like a rocker babe. wahahhaha.. i know this just sounds so wrong lar.. anyway only the privileged few have access to my blog. laugh if u want to... GAH
the reflected appraisal i've received recently isn't all that great. my mum hasn't been encouraging, feedbacks i received from sch work r also quite lousy... and plus social comparison with ppl around me - the reference group (my course mates & frens?) i feel that i'm really quite lousy lor. this must have been the worse sem for me so far. i think i'm really sucky :( but i can't just tell myself that i'm sucky and useless. bcoz self-fulfilling prophecy will take place, and i'll do things that will lead me to be really sucky. GAH... i dunno lar. i'm just sprouting random nonsense peppered with stuff from the 1st 2 lectures from COM254...
Feel like crying. so many things to do lar... can't wait for all these to be over.... :( so that i can faster go do the things i like. i just feel like learning how to play the electric guitar now, so that i can jam in my room (is that the correct way of using the word btw?) whenever i feel down, and shake my head and twist my body n scream my lungs out (into the pillow so that i won't irritate my neighbours?) even though i'm not a teenager anymore (yes, this sounds so sad), i do get angsty and emo once in a while....
i'm going to conduct a follow-up session with my cousin for my voice production case study 2moro. which means i'll be taking public transport. to boost my self-confidence (my ego? my self-concept? dunno lar), shld i wear something nicer and put on more makeup? haiz.. siao ar, i'll just be out for a while, then come home to type my report already lor. GAH!!!!!!! i need to type a 1500 word essay, do a case study on some1, and devise a vocal warm up for myself (all due on tuesday. and the instructor is quite dun give face 1. we went to ask her how long roughly are the case stuy n vocal warm up length, and she asked us to go get a life. what f*cking attitude is that? i had enough man, seriously. i already curbed myself in use of vulgarities on my blog, but this time, i seriously cannot tahan already. TMD. wang ba dan. knnbccb... just let me exhaust my vulgarity vocab.... argh!!! anyway my blog is private. only few ppl can see... but u all bear with me ok.... haiz) all these are for 1 freaking module... :( :( :( :(
i'm just so sick of these.......
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