andy xian.. my dear dear..

i'm feeling very sianz the whole day.. my life hasn't been that great lar, except 4 the moments i shared with my dear dear..

dear, do u know that u're the reason i nv give up on myself? coz i know there's some1 who treats me so good, who's so concerned abt me, who is ever so patient with me... how i can i juz give up on myself juz like that? i don't wanna hurt u, i don't wanna disappoint u.. i don't want u 2 love me for nothing.. n i also love u a lot.. as much as u love me, maybe even more..

dear.. do u know that suicide thoughts visit me once in a while? but i won't succumb 2 it.. coz i know there's some1 who's waiting 2 spend his life with me in the future.. some1 who definitely won't wanna see me gone.. i can't bear 2 leave u either.. so i chased those thoughts away.. coz i know there r still many things we haven't do..

we haven't exchanged the sacred vows (yes, i'm talking abt marriage.. doesn't matter if i'm too young now.. coz the day will eventually come), we haven't been travelling together (juz the 2 of us), we haven't have kids, we haven't stay together, we haven't spend our days together... we haven't cooked together, we haven't snuggled on the couch n watch tv till we fall asleep together.... n a lot more... a lot of stuff.. it's gonna flood the page if i'm gonna list em all down..

in short, andy dear dear, if i ever feel tired of life, i juz need 2 think of u, n everything will be fine. i need u so much... do u feel the same way?

next week we go jogging again k? either east coast or pasir ris park. i wanna try for 10 minutes.. really wanna improve my stamina lor.. n i dun care.. i wanna be able 2 do pull ups.. must help me k?